Metamorphosism

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March 04, 2004

Dating tips for guys

  1. Women are not turned on when you grope them in the subway, this has been empirically established.
  2. Since yesterday we also know that jacking off in front of them on the train likewise fails to enhance your attractiveness or create an aura of mystery.

Yes! It's true! My kid inherited the weirdo-magnet gene from her dad!

We're all so happy.

Being a 14-y*ar-*ld gril, of course, she's currently specializing in gr*pers and p*rverts, but it can be only a matter of time until the psychotics, schizos and messiahs start showing up on our doorstep or calling late at night from the top of the water tower or the drunk tank.

Posted at March 4, 2004 08:44 AM
Comments

I took self-defense classes and instructed my younger sister likewise. It was a moment of great pride for me when we were set upon by a group of drunken hooligans while walking home one night and she punched one of them with such force that he was knocked to the ground. Uhm, they backed off.
So I'm not against that as a solution.
However, often the best defense is just to look at the offender and laugh as if they had just shown you a condensed episode of the Simpsons. Because flashers generally WANT on some level to offend and even frighten you, and getting a fight means they riled you.
Whereas nobody likes it when Mr. Happy gets a good hearty chuckle.

also: water tower/drunk tank = very funny.

Posted by: anne at March 4, 2004 12:07 PM
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