Metamorphosism

We of course all understand it, being intellectuals.

March 10, 2005

Car names

I entertained myself on my way into work this morning, which was good because I was parked on the freeway for a whole hour while they cleaned up an accident. Parked.

I entertained myself as I sometimes do by devising new names for automobiles.

Fiat Maligna was one of my favorites.
Toyota names are fun: Toyota Cretina.
Body parts: Dodge Rectum. Volvo Uterus (a family van). Ford Sphincter (modernistic, concept sports-compact). Chevy Idiot. Ford Moron (or, if it's a 4WD Ford Morono, with New Mexican desert background in the advertisement).

Posted at March 10, 2005 06:34 PM
Comments

Dodge Offender (big SUV). Think I've made that joke before.

Posted by: mig at March 10, 2005 06:36 PM

Buick Truss.

Posted by: francis s. at March 10, 2005 07:00 PM

Chevy Mucus.

Posted by: francis s. at March 10, 2005 07:37 PM

you know in the old days in korea they used to run competitions to name a new model of car. the first competition named hyundai's very first car 'pony'.

Posted by: j-a at March 10, 2005 08:36 PM

mimi smartypants suggests just putting the word "anal" in front of car names. anal navigator! anal fiesta! anal explorer!

Posted by: anne at March 11, 2005 05:35 AM

Anal Probe.

Posted by: mig at March 11, 2005 06:25 AM

Anal Dobló.

Posted by: mig at March 11, 2005 06:26 AM

Dobló is funny enough on its own. Of course, I'm probably saying it wrong, but I like to pretend it means "The Blow" in a bad cartoon translation from another language. Zeez car eez, how you say, ze blow.

Posted by: eeksypeeksy at March 11, 2005 07:44 AM

I thought that Volvo already meant something bad. Wasn't that name a Swedish statement against macho?

Posted by: John Emerson at March 12, 2005 04:25 AM

The Volvo Vulvo? A two-seater, of course.

Posted by: lucy at March 13, 2005 06:38 PM

I referred to a Volvo as a Vulva once when I was a wee girl. Once. The laughter still rings in my ears. *pinkening in shame*

Kia Rhesus. Just because.

Posted by: jilbur at March 14, 2005 12:10 AM

Or KIA Roscuro.

Posted by: jilbur at March 14, 2005 12:11 AM

Wanker (the next-generation Hummer. Matter of fact, I'll start referring to all Hummers - and there's plenty of 'em here in the Silly Cone Valley - as Wankers.)

Posted by: Elkit at March 15, 2005 10:21 PM

Martin Amis' (in his 'Money' novel) Ford Fiasco is my old time favourite.

Posted by: Loxias at March 16, 2005 07:10 AM

That's very good.

Posted by: mig at March 16, 2005 07:20 AM

Chevrolet Nociceptor

Posted by: mig at March 16, 2005 07:16 PM

Toyota Corollary.
And I just bought a Honda Accordeon.

Posted by: Elkit at March 23, 2005 02:17 AM
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