Metamorphosism

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April 01, 2005

Why it is okay to confine missionaries to ones cellar

  • They're the first to forgive you, so it's okay.
  • They know it's a dangerous job when they take it.
  • They don't usually laugh when you tell them their sexual position is one of your favorites.
  • They can still perform simple household tasks, even after the lobotomy; such as scramble eggs? Although you do usually have to remind them to stop when they're finished, and you would want to do the actual cooking yourself, due to the hot burner and all.

We apparently had missionaries at the door recently, but I was in my shop at the time and Alpha answered the door and sent them on their merry way as she is wont to do. I tend to chat with them for a while. With telephone salespeople it's the other way around. I say things like, "Whoa, the baby's let the alligator out of the tank again, gotta dash," while Alpha sometimes gets snagged.

I went out at lunch to buy paints for Gamma for the weekend, one-liter bottles of poster paints. This requires driving cross town to the big art supply store I just love so, so much, so so much, which in turn involves getting inconsolably lost in lunchtime Vienna traffic, which is not as bad as say lunchtime Mexico City traffic or lunchtime Jakarta traffic, but is bad enough for me. Also I forgot to eat lunch so I'm hungry now.

But I have the paints.

And I saw a guy washing a big bronze statue of the Pope. Scrubbing it good.

Posted at April 1, 2005 02:10 PM
Comments

One-litre bottles?!

Sounds fun... :-)

Posted by: Mark at April 1, 2005 03:33 PM

my favorite part of this post is how the phrase 'scrambled eggs' occurs so close to the word 'lobotomy.' Subtle and so effective.

Posted by: jilbur at April 1, 2005 03:47 PM

i never get accosted by missionaries while m. always does. i think this is due to the fact that i glare at them from 200 yards ahead while m. just absentmindedly stares at them.

Posted by: j-a at April 1, 2005 07:11 PM

there is a big bronze statue of the pope? i don't know anything.

Posted by: kay at April 1, 2005 11:25 PM

There is in Vienna. And is it clean.

Posted by: mig at April 2, 2005 06:41 AM

Shiny, shiny pope. He really was one of our shiniest. Besides being the most on-the-ground working and humanitarian and inclusive (as far as that goes with the Holy See) and all that.

I thoroughly enjoyed the time spent lost in Vienna traffic, during our visit, fyi. But what did I tell you about the toting of chocolates and/or bags of nuts?! Do I have to sign you up for the chocolates and bags of nuts (and big vats of tempera, yum) of the month club? 0<:-*
(that's my beatified papal smiley)

Posted by: Jessica at April 2, 2005 09:01 PM

That makes sense, because as everyone knows, a Franciscan monk is responsible for introducing bananas to the island of Santo Domingo in 1516, from where the delicious fruit spread throughout the Caribbean, and then Central and South America.

http://home.t-online.de/home/schulz.thomas/histo-e.htm

Posted by: mig at April 3, 2005 12:16 AM

Which shop is that?

Posted by: novala at April 3, 2005 03:40 PM

Are we, the people, in on the hiring process for the Pope's successor? Now that bananas have been shared with the world, what do we ask of this new Pope? I'd like to see a checklist. Perhaps Google would unearth one.

Posted by: Meredith at April 3, 2005 07:07 PM
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