July 11, 2006
List of ten random events in reverse chronological order
- I give my Doc Martens a good shake before putting them on.
- Red cat with face covered with grey dustbunnies smells my Doc Martens with excessive interest as they stand by the door. The boots, I mean. I don't have them on yet.
- "I think it went outside. I think it worked," my wife says when I come out of the shower.
- I step over a folding lawnchair unfolded and on its side in our entry way,and walk past the wide-open front door to go take a shower.
- I feel bad, the cat looks so cute sleeping, but still pick him up and place him in the kitchen. "It's your job, pal. Go for it." He gazes under the cabinets with more interest than I expected.
- I give my wife a thousand-yard stare.
- I look at the complex arrangement of furniture, moulding and open doors that form a sort of fence leading from the kitchen to the open front door. "There are too many little holes," I tell my wife. "You have to be able to think like a mouse. Mice are by nature agoraphobic, for them it's normal. If I'm a mouse, why would I emerge from under the cabinets, where it is nice and cozy, out into the looming agora of the kitchen?" "And what, you can think like a mouse?" my wife says.
- I remove the mouldings from under the kitchen cabinets while my wife carries lawn furniture up from the cellar. "We're building a better etc etc," I say.
- "I have a great idea," my wife says, and explains it to me.
- My wife joins me in the kitchen for breakfast. We eat toast, and listen to the news on the radio, and to a distinct gnawing sound coming from a kitchen cabinet.
Posted at July 11, 2006 08:06 AM
• A small pack of hoodlum cats vowed to serve as my clawed minions.
• I dumped the contents of a Bisquick box onto my neighbor's porch.
• A man walked down the middle of our street, around midnight under a very full moon. His head rocked back and forth in time with the song on his iPod: left, then right, then "Holy crap, you scared me."
• Someone recalls a pack of hoodlum cats that Ash had been seen with, recently. Thank god for gossipy neighbors.
• In the foyer, box in hand, bare but for a tiny pair of short shorts and what passed for a camisole: Good thing it was warm out.
• After weighed its options, the rat darted into the box.
• The kitchen provided a small well-provisioned place: the Bisquick box, with just a healthy dusting of escapee dust once I wrangled the bag free.
* Then reminded myself that they love small dark places with food in them even more, especially small dark places with food and with no alpha rats who sent them out to scavenge in the first place and who might eat them if they don't like what they bring back.
• I reminded both of them that rats love small dark places and can hide quite happily for hours.
• Ash waited patiently for his dad to restart the fun new toy.
• The rat climbed even better than it acted.
• I direct better than I act.
• I blocked the bookshelf entrance, kind of, but what was I going to do, get peed on?
• I thought like a rat.
• Brendan chased the rat around the room several times with a broom.
• "Here, ratty ratty" at his mid-air repose, two legs against the bookshelf and two against the wall.
* The rat displayed great Method skills.
• Ash had hours of fun pretending to kill it.
• "Mew" is cat for "Look, mommy! A rat! No, really! A real live juvenile rat! He's very cute, see? Can I keep him?"
• A very funny "Mew" sounded at the front door.
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