-------- AUTHOR: Mig TITLE: Relationship tip STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 2 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ PRIMARY CATEGORY: CATEGORY: DATE: 07/02/2004 07:59:15 AM ----- BODY:

When you call into work from home and one of the hot secretaries answers, don't expect your wife to appreciate all the different levels of irony when you purr into the phone, "hey beautiful, this is Mig."

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: When you call into work from home and one of the hot secretaries answers, don't expect your wife to appreciate all the different levels of irony when you purr into the phone, "hey beautiful, this is Mig."... ----- KEYWORDS: ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: Silvia EMAIL: casilviab@earthlink.net IP: 153.18.106.55 URL: DATE: 07/02/2004 20:23:11 PM

Make sure that at least the secretaries are appreciating it

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: cj EMAIL: cjcbanane@aol.com IP: 151.203.37.38 URL: DATE: 07/02/2004 21:39:14 PM

You are sooo smooth.

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: Jessica EMAIL: jessica@peacedividend.com IP: 66.117.128.123 URL: http://www.peacedividend.com DATE: 07/03/2004 20:19:22 PM

I bet the hot secretary laughed with her when, ten minutes later, she hit redial and purred, "Hey, beautiful. He's married. With kids. And a hedgehog."

----- -------- AUTHOR: Mig TITLE: Life among the hedgehogs STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 2 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ PRIMARY CATEGORY: CATEGORY: DATE: 07/04/2004 09:16:04 AM ----- BODY:

My native guide takes me to a secluded location known for hedge-hog sightings. We put out food and hide in our blind. (all pictures link to larger popup images).

hedge1th.jpg Soon, two emerge from their lair: a mother and a young one.

hedge2th.jpg Then the remaining three young hedge-hogs emerge and start wolfing down the food. They can be distinguished by the colors of their snouts, which range from dark to light. Albino hedge-hogs have been sighted in Austria, where they are relatively common, but none of these are albinos. One of the young ones has the habit of climbing completely into the food dish and standing on the food, which I conclude he does in order to have more for himself. The little runt is the last one to get any food, spending the first several minutes jockeying for position.

hedge3th.jpg We are quite surprised when a fifth young hedge-hog emerges from the lair, since we only moved four to the backyard from their burrow in front of our house. No idea where this little guy came from. We assume the mother remembered him and moved him from the burrow to the back yard one night after we went to bed.

hedge4th.jpg Eventually, the hedge-hogs notice the guy taking pictures of them a foot from their dish, and I back off so as not to stress them out.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: My native guide takes me to a secluded location known for hedge-hog sightings. We put out food and hide in our blind. (all pictures link to larger popup images). Soon, two emerge from their lair: a mother and a young... ----- KEYWORDS: ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: sue EMAIL: sue@myurl.com IP: 81.70.40.79 URL: DATE: 07/04/2004 10:56:27 AM

I can't resist saying this : they are so very cute.

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: novala EMAIL: sodazitron@gmx.net IP: 80.108.27.99 URL: http://sodazitron.blogger.de DATE: 07/04/2004 15:06:37 PM

My neighbors are very happy that I'm not a oh-so-cute-squeak-girlie, but use a keyboard to type they-are-cool-fellows - otherwise they might have frowned a little.

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: David (TEFL Smiler) EMAIL: teflsmiler@hotmail.com IP: 213.237.27.237 URL: http://teflsmiler.typepad.com/weblog/ DATE: 07/04/2004 18:13:50 PM

Ahhhhhh!!!! They're lovely - and they've got great homes, by the way! Can you build me a human-size one, please, Mig?

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: paul EMAIL: rant@industrialfreedom.net IP: 24.19.23.173 URL: DATE: 07/04/2004 22:42:58 PM

Perhaps you could set up a webcam and start your own pay-per-view baby hedgehog cam.

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: mig EMAIL: mig@metamorphosism.com IP: 195.170.73.160 URL: DATE: 07/04/2004 23:25:16 PM

Would you prefer the straw bedding, David, or the shredded newspaper?

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: j-a EMAIL: jeonga_kim@yahoo.co.uk IP: 202.71.195.230 URL: http://www.whatarewedoinghere.blogspot.com DATE: 07/05/2004 04:54:11 AM

ARGH! THEY ARE SO CUTE! oh boy.

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: ArtichokeHeart EMAIL: artichokeheart@mac.com IP: 12.214.36.168 URL: http://lovesinsects.blogspot.com DATE: 07/06/2004 07:59:16 AM

I ADORE hedgehogs!!! What wonderful pictures! I have hedgehog envy now, I believe.

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: David (TEFL Smiler) EMAIL: teflsmiler@hotmail.com IP: 213.237.27.237 URL: http://teflsmiler.typepad.com/weblog/ DATE: 07/06/2004 12:13:44 PM

Oh, the shredded newspaper, please, so that I have something to read. (Well, lots of very short words, at least.)

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: Carrie EMAIL: indigohat@yadayadayahoo.com IP: 64.186.245.122 URL: http://www.ponderethereal.com/blog/mt DATE: 07/06/2004 17:25:21 PM

How absolutely adorable! Thanks for posting them.. I got my fix. :)

You.. you.. 5th baby hedgehog neglector, you. Poor baby hedgehog. His brothers and sisters were stolen away quite suddenly by the huge hand in the sky that smelled oddly like meat and rubber and then he shivered away all by himself.. lonely.. alone.. in the dark. *sigh*

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: mig EMAIL: mig@metamorphosism.com IP: 80.122.106.26 URL: DATE: 07/06/2004 17:43:58 PM

Yeah, he sticks pretty close to his mom now. I wonder if that would apply to kids - maybe if you give them a good scare when they're little, you don't have to worry about them wandering off at the mall after that.

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: Jessica EMAIL: jessica@peacedividend.com IP: 66.117.128.123 URL: http://www.peacedividend.com DATE: 07/06/2004 17:54:59 PM

Either that or they (the kids) would get extra busy sharpening their spines, in case it happens again.

Thanks for the photos. Your stories are almost like being there, but with hegehogs (and their houses! my stars, those are great hedgehog huts!) we all know the cuteness factor will be too great not to see.

So. Um. What does one feed a hedgehog? Minced baby mice? Worms? What exactly do hedgehogs root around for, that you might have dug up for them and put into their bowl?

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: mig EMAIL: mig@metamorphosism.com IP: 80.122.106.26 URL: DATE: 07/06/2004 18:15:27 PM

Basically catfood, except there's a picture of a hedgehog on the can and it costs more. There is also a dry mix they eat when the other stuff runs out, which looks like muesli / granola would if your kitchen had a real bad mealworm problem. Out in nature, I hear they are little omnivores, eating nuts and berries (I will soon be chopping nuts for them, which I am told they love) and other fruit as well as grubs and slugs. Someone else told me, though, that they don't eat slugs... who knows.

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: beta EMAIL: one@one.one IP: 195.170.73.144 URL: DATE: 07/06/2004 21:25:32 PM

what about the hedgehog hacienda??

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: mig EMAIL: mig@metamorphosism.com IP: 80.122.106.26 URL: DATE: 07/07/2004 07:39:45 AM

the hedgehog hacienda wasn't constructed yet when I took those pictures. I shall rectify that soon. It is a single-level Spanish-style duplex, with separate living and eating quarters, described in the "dip in the pool" post above, I believe.

----- -------- AUTHOR: Mig TITLE: A dip in the pool STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 2 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ PRIMARY CATEGORY: CATEGORY: DATE: 07/06/2004 07:38:51 AM ----- BODY:
  1. Do not assemble pool after dark. Seriously.
----- EXTENDED BODY:

I looked, but was unable to find a post about the actual assembly of our large wading pool anywhere in my archives. So I took the old one apart and built another one exactly the same on the same spot this weekend.

It's been very wet here this summer and the wall along the stairs leading from the backyard into the cellar has been damp. We thought maybe the pool was leaking. So we thought about replacing it. The metal side of the pool was a little bent in one spot, and we found one small hole in the lining which I fixed but still. It occurred to us that maybe the pool wasn't the problem after all, just the wet weather. Later we even became convinced of this, but by this time it was too late, we were too suspicious of the pool and it had to go.

We had this image in our heads of the pool exploding when filled, and inundating our cellar.

So I took it apart. Then I made the spot as perfectly level as I could, with a gentle incline towards the neighbors' backyard, so if it ever did explode, they would get the water.

New pools were on sale at the hardware store. However, my wife insisted I get one of the blanket things you put underneath to protect the vinyl lining, and they cost an extra €55. Just for a blanket thing. What a racket.

Perfectly level. Got the little metal track-thing assembled that the walls fit into. Alpha, Beta and Gamma helped me put up the wall and I got the ends bolted together. Alpha had suggested getting more people to help, but these would have been her relatives, and I did not have the nervous wherewithall this weekend to handle their involvement in such a complicated undertaking.

"Shouldn't you get the clothespins to hold the lining to the edge while you get it straight?" Alpha asks me.

"What for? I have you guys to hold it," I say. Girls.

This was around 7 PM, maybe 7.30. Estimated time to completion: 45 minutes, tops.

8.45 PM: The last of what look like 100 clothespins is in place. I am standing in the middle of the wading pool. A garden hose is slowly filling the pool with ice-cold water. The women are standing around the pool, holding the edges of the wall to keep it from doing anything fishy. "Gosh, take a look at that storm front," Alpha says. I look, but don't notice it at first because it's so enormous, like the Death Star only bigger and blacker, against the nearly black sky.

9.30 PM: The lining is arranged perfectly. The water is up around my ankles. I have begun to slip the plastic clamping sleeve around the top rim of the pool. Its function is to secure the vinyl lining, but it keeps popping off, so it is temporarily held on by the clothespins now. "Dad?" Gamma says. "Yes honey?" "Is the water cold?" "It's not so bad once your feet go numb," I say. The mosquitos have found us.

10.00 PM: All the lights in the house are turned on so that we can see something, but it doesn't help much, about two candles' worth. I'm trying to figure out how to work the metal track thing that goes around the top rim of the pool to hold the plastic clamping sleeve in place. It is a system of wider and narrower metal elements that clip over the plastic sleeve and then slide into one another, only the question is, are you supposed to clip them over the sleeve individually and then slide them into one another afterwards, or assemble the entire ring beforehand and then clip it on all at once? If it's the former, who's strong enough to slide the little fuckers into each other afterwards since they hold like steel once clipped on and how do you work the final piece; if it's the latter, how do you hold the ring without it bending and kinking? And the ends fit well enough into each other in theory, but they don't seem to want to mate in actual practice, at least in the dark.
"Do we have any flashlights with working batteries?" I ask. It is three hours past Gamma's bedtime and something has made her cry. Alpha is comforting her. Beta brings two small flashlights, the tiniest ones Maglite makes, and shines a dim orange dot onto the ends of the metal track I am trying to get to mate.
"What am I?" Beta asks.
"Not now, honey," I say. Something in my voice prevents her from pressing.

10.30 PM: Top rim in place. Alpha is in the house putting Gamma to bed finally. Beta and I inspect our handiwork. The water is between my ankles and knees. It feels warm, which concerns me, although I decide permanent nerve damage is unlikely. "Look, dad, the wall of the pool has popped out of the track thing on the bottom."
I have this image of the pool bursting again. The place where the wall has popped out is on the side by our cellar stairs. I wiggle the wall and press down and press out at the bottom with my big toe (gently so as not to damage the lining) and it goes back into the track. Whew.
It pops back out when I release pressure.
I get it back in. It pops out in another place six feet away.
Beta and I go back and forth between the two spots. When we fix one, it pops out in the other spot.
"Do you ever feel as if you're being punished by Zeus?" she asks.
"Eh?"
"Zeus had the best punishments, where some terrible thing gets repeated over and over," she says.
"Eh, nah," I say.

11.15 PM: I climb out of the pool and turn off the water. Tomorrow is another day. Beta and I go into the house and drink some tea with Alpha.

Epilogue: The following day I figured out that the wall wasn't staying in the track because the track was too low at that point - I had overlooked a low spot in the sand. When I filled it with sand and rocks, it raised the track to the right level and the wall stayed in. The filter/pump is now mounted and the pool is nearly full. Hopefully if it bursts, it'll all go into the neighbor's yard.

Also, I built another house for the hedgehogs. A duplex this time, with feeding/sleeping quarters separated by a wall and separate entrances. I figured if there were just one door and an interior hallway connecting the two rooms, they might stay indoors all the time and never get any fresh air. We may eventually move some of them to a safer place in the woods, and so they'll need a house of their own, is the idea.

Also, I broke the mirror on the medicine cabinet this morning. I was plugging in my hairdryer and the whole shebang fell off the hooks holding it up and it crashed down onto the sink, breaking the glass lampshade over the halogen light on the top of it and sending this crack diagonally across the mirror. I stood there for a minute, looking at my dopey expression in the mirror now 6 inches from my face. "The Mirror Crack'ed," I thought. I vacuumed up the glass. This woke up Alpha, who came downstairs and said, "The Mirror Crack'ed, eh?"
"This'll make it a lot easier to change the little halogen bulb when it burns out," I said.

----- EXCERPT: Do not assemble pool after dark. Seriously.... ----- KEYWORDS: ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: cj EMAIL: cjcbanane@aol.com IP: 205.188.116.76 URL: http://journals.aol.com/cjcbanane/Test/ DATE: 07/11/2004 15:56:40 PM

Congratulations on the pool.

Re: the mirror
That's just someone upstairs letting you know that hairdryers were not meant to be used by heterosexual men... but I guess if you're in Europe there might be exceptions. It can be so hard to tell between gay and European.

----- -------- AUTHOR: Mig TITLE: International diplomacy STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 2 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ PRIMARY CATEGORY: CATEGORY: DATE: 07/07/2004 08:56:58 AM ----- BODY:

I was sitting around with a bunch of young diplomats from around the world the other day drinking coffee and talking about international relations.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: I was sitting around with a bunch of young diplomats from around the world the other day drinking coffee and talking about international relations. Diplomat 1: Bzzbzzbzzbzbzzz. Diplomat 2: Bzzbzbbzzzzbzbzbzz. Diplomat 3: Bzzbzbzbzbbbbbzzzz. Diplomat 4: Bzzbzbbbbzzzzzzbzbzzz. Diplomat 5: Bzzbzbbzzz Diplomat... ----- KEYWORDS: ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: M o I EMAIL: moira_russell@hotmail.com IP: 24.19.39.63 URL: http://www.livejournal.com/users/redredshoes DATE: 07/07/2004 12:33:01 PM

((waves))

I love all the different Bzzbbzzzzbzzzz. And the spelling skills of the sixth diplomat.

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: mig EMAIL: mig@metamorphosism.com IP: 80.122.106.26 URL: DATE: 07/07/2004 18:07:00 PM

Moira! Hi!

It was like being in an interesting spelling bee.

[waiting for all the "diplomatic asphyxiation fetish" search hits]

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: paul EMAIL: rant@industrialfreedom.net IP: 24.19.23.173 URL: DATE: 07/07/2004 22:10:06 PM

Perhaps you could have worked the conversation from Michael Hutchence over to Richard Gere and then on to gerbils and then you could start talking about hedgehogs where you could be the expert...

----- -------- AUTHOR: Mig TITLE: Teens nowadays STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 2 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ PRIMARY CATEGORY: CATEGORY: DATE: 07/07/2004 12:01:18 PM ----- BODY:

bug63-1.gif bug63-2.gif bug63-3.gif bug63-4.gif


re-run (originally posted Nov. 2003)

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: bug63-1.gif Teens Nowadays (re-run) ----- KEYWORDS: ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: Jessica EMAIL: jessica@peacedividend.com IP: 66.117.128.123 URL: http://www.peacedividend.com DATE: 07/08/2004 05:35:27 AM

Gawd, I miss you guys.

----- -------- AUTHOR: Mig TITLE: Metamorphosism, the Lifestyle Magazine STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 2 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ PRIMARY CATEGORY: CATEGORY: DATE: 07/08/2004 07:32:13 AM ----- BODY:

At the newsstand, glossy advice: Summer of Sex, 56 Things You've Never Tried; Secrets to Great Abs; 40 Secret Rules of Being a Guy. On and on. It's like an industry.

Let's make a magazine. Put your headlines and or articles in the comments.

----- EXTENDED BODY:

Those articles used to disappoint me until I stopped reading them. A load of pork, or air (perhaps both, like those bacon-rind things they sell in the store in the chips section) wrapped around an obvious core. Want great abs? Lose the fat and do a ton of situps. The secret of losing weight? Eat less. Quit smoking? Stop putting cigarettes in your mouth.

56 things you've never tried… that could be interesting, except that 56 things would not even be the tip of the iceberg of things I've never tried. I get embarrassed stuffing the turkey for Thanksgiving, man. I'll leave it to someone else to guess what those 56 things could be.

Secret rules of being a guy, though. What would those be? What have we observed about being a guy?

  1. Don't ask for directions.
  2. Watch where you point that.
  3. Emulate your father, intentionally or accidentally.
  4. Be nice to your mom, and your mother-in-law.
  5. Know how to mix a couple drinks.
  6. Know a few recipes by heart.
  7. Know basic woodworking, at least birdhouse construction.
  8. Play a musical instrument, however badly.
  9. Know the lyrics to a few songs, and sing them.
  10. Vote democrat.
  11. Be nice to old people, and treat them with respect.
  12. Take good care of your animals.
  13. Take care of your car and know enough about it so you don't freak out when you look under the hood. Like be able to find the thing to check the oil.
  14. Polish your shoes, if they are the polishing kind.
  15. Know more than one way to knot a tie.
  16. Be able to recite at least one poem by heart.
  17. Know how to prune a fruit tree.
  18. Know how to bait a fishhook.
  19. Understand baseball.
  20. Have a favorite sports team.
  21. Have a favorite author.
  22. Have a favorite movie.
  23. Quit smoking.
  24. Be decent to kids. Treat them with respect, and expect them to do the same.
  25. Look at me when I'm talking to you.
  26. Be careful with that, you'll put someone's eye out.
  27. Have a regular prostate exam after 40 or 45, whatever.
  28. Cut down on animal fats.
  29. Use it or lose it.
  30. Stretch. Warm up, and stretch.
  31. Don't be an asshole. Be polite. This includes while driving.
  32. Treat others the way you want to be treated.
  33. Learn how to give a decent massage, and a decent foot rub.
  34. Do the housework now and then, but don't get all anal-retentive about it.
  35. Tell kids fascinating stories.
  36. If you're a poor conversationalist, develop a coping strategy such as memorizing in advance possible comments or topics to raise, or practice a facial expression that looks like you're paying attention.
  37. Wear a suit now and then.
  38. If you're over 12, don't wear short pants.
  39. Use the right tool for the job. (Like don't use a gun to hammer a nail. I used to have an old Colt .41 revolver a previous owner had used for that very purpose - the butt was all dinged up.)
  40. What am I forgetting?

----- EXCERPT: At the newsstand, glossy advice: Summer of Sex, 56 Things You've Never Tried; Secrets to Great Abs; 40 Secret Rules of Being a Guy. On and on. It's like an industry. Let's make a magazine. Put your headlines and or... ----- KEYWORDS: ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: eeksypeeksy EMAIL: eeksypeeksy@gmail.com IP: 192.55.37.194 URL: http://eeksypeeksy.blogspot.com DATE: 07/08/2004 11:15:08 AM

Those are the rules for being a _good_ guy. The rules for being an average guy are much looser.

By the way, did you say you had a Colt .41? Do they make them in that size? On purpose? Or did you pick it up at a factory outlet store next to the albums in the 33 2/3 bin?

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: mig EMAIL: mig@metamorphosism.com IP: 80.122.106.26 URL: DATE: 07/08/2004 18:06:12 PM

It was quite old.
http://www.coltparts.com/edcox/cx_554.JPG
and
http://www.coltparts.com/aguns2_da.html

I never fired it, though. It was built for black powder shells, and I only had regular gunpowder ones, and figured it would be a bad idea to use those.

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: mig EMAIL: mig@metamorphosism.com IP: 80.122.106.26 URL: DATE: 07/08/2004 18:06:53 PM

It was my understanding that they made rifles in the same caliber, with the idea that one could use the same ammo for both.

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: cj EMAIL: cjcbanane@aol.com IP: 205.188.116.76 URL: http://journals.aol.com/cjcbanane/Test/ DATE: 07/08/2004 22:25:25 PM

One of the 56 things I'll bet you haven't tried: Accidentally scraping off the sympathetic chain when you thought it was fascia.
I had a labmate who did this. It was funny at the time. I guess you had to be there.

Another secret rule of being a good_guy:
Carry more of the bags (groceries, shopping, luggage, etc) than the gal.

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: tasha EMAIL: noemail@email.com IP: 64.60.254.202 URL: http://www.velouria.net DATE: 07/09/2004 01:11:12 AM

you remind me of guido brunetti, do you know who that is? well, you do.

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: mig EMAIL: mig@metamorphosism.com IP: 80.122.106.26 URL: DATE: 07/09/2004 07:26:31 AM

Guido rocks. Every time we go to Venice we loiter in front of the police station looking for him.

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: tasha EMAIL: nomail@email.com IP: 198.144.198.158 URL: http://www.velouria.net DATE: 07/09/2004 16:53:37 PM

i can't believe you know who that is. i'm glad i started reading this again, that's all. whee!

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: Jessica EMAIL: jessica@peacedividend.com IP: 66.117.128.123 URL: http://www.peacedividend.com DATE: 07/10/2004 21:29:20 PM

But what if the short pants are hot?
Surely there is an allowence for short hot pants.

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: j-a EMAIL: jeonga_kim@yahoo.co.uk IP: 202.71.195.230 URL: http://www.whatarewedoinghere.blogspot.com DATE: 07/12/2004 05:55:52 AM

ha ha...crazy list...will verify with any males i know of...

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: shauny EMAIL: shaunamarsh@blueyonder.co.uk IP: 82.41.20.183 URL: http://pussycat.shauny.org DATE: 07/12/2004 12:43:55 PM

41. Become a fabulous kisser. practice, practice!

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: mig EMAIL: mig@metamorphosism.com IP: 80.122.106.26 URL: DATE: 07/12/2004 13:09:35 PM

I'm sitting here right now, eating cherries and tying the stems into knots, inside my mouth, with my tongue.

Acually, I'm not, I'm just trying unsuccessfully. But I've done it once, I remember.

----- -------- AUTHOR: Mig TITLE: Poll STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 2 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ PRIMARY CATEGORY: CATEGORY: DATE: 07/10/2004 17:15:17 PM ----- BODY:

If your surname was Estomen, and you had a son, would you name him Norman?

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: If your surname was Estomen, and you had a son, would you name him Norman?... ----- KEYWORDS: ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: cj EMAIL: cjcbanane@aol.com IP: 205.188.116.76 URL: http://journals.aol.com/cjcbanane/Test/ DATE: 07/10/2004 19:08:29 PM

If I hated that son, I would.

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: paul EMAIL: rant@industrialfreedom.net IP: 24.19.23.173 URL: DATE: 07/10/2004 19:47:31 PM

I would name him Nemots, I just love those names that go forwards and backwards...

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: tasha EMAIL: nomail@email.com IP: 198.144.198.158 URL: http://www.velouria.net DATE: 07/10/2004 21:36:37 PM

i can't see what's wrong with it, but i feel like i'm probably missing something. it's kind of singsongy, if i'm pronouncing the last name right in my head.

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: Karan EMAIL: karan@flummel.com IP: 24.18.52.52 URL: http://www.flummel.com DATE: 07/12/2004 05:25:48 AM

Maybe not...what's "nomen est omen" mean?

----- -------- AUTHOR: Mig TITLE: Girl vs. Man, part n STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 2 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ PRIMARY CATEGORY: CATEGORY: DATE: 07/12/2004 12:05:12 PM ----- BODY:

Girl: Mom, do men have a thing like menopause too?
Mom: Yes. Male menopause, yes.
Man: [Holds hands over ears]
Girl: Could that explain why dad is so cranky lately?
Mom: I suppose so, honey.
Man: Lalalalalala.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: Girl: Mom, do men have a thing like menopause too? Mom: Yes. Male menopause, yes. Man: [Holds hands over ears] Girl: Could that explain why dad is so cranky lately? Mom: I suppose so, honey. Man: Lalalalalala.... ----- KEYWORDS: ----- -------- AUTHOR: Mig TITLE: Pragmatism STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 2 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ PRIMARY CATEGORY: CATEGORY: DATE: 07/13/2004 12:56:20 PM ----- BODY:

Personally, I prefer whining but it wasn't getting me anywhere and then I read this quote in a caption under a picture of Sir Karl Popper ["inventor of sex enhancer" joke goes here] where he says something about life being a process of problem-solving and that reminded me of something else he said, about how we learn through our mistakes and all that tipped me over the edge into the abyss of Trying Something New:

----- EXTENDED BODY:

Rephrase whine as concrete problem --> identify possible solution --> implement possible solution --> record level of success, failure --> record whether this solves the whine, or whether further problems or better solutions must be solved/implemented.


For example: Problem: I'm boring in person. Possible solution: stop talking about myself all the time. Result: too hard to implement, try something else, like a facial tattoo.

Or: Dissatisfaction with appearance. Possible solution: Lose weight. Which leads to another problem: How to lose weight. Possible solution: eat less and exercise more. Result: down four kilos so far, yay.

Or: Lousy conversationalist. Possible solution: incite convesation partners to talk about themselves. Result: works like a charm so far.

----- EXCERPT: Personally, I prefer whining but it wasn't getting me anywhere and then I read this quote in a caption under a picture of Sir Karl Popper ["inventor of sex enhancer" joke goes here] where he says something about life being... ----- KEYWORDS: ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: cj EMAIL: cjcbanane@aol.com IP: 64.12.116.76 URL: http://journals.aol.com/cjcbanane/Test/ DATE: 07/13/2004 16:39:46 PM

I'd like to believe the office clerks are on vacation. My one reader hasn't commented lately, either. I am surprised the diplomat asphyxiation hits haven't increased your numbers!

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: the prophetic one EMAIL: a_reitsma@yahoo.com IP: 202.5.6.32 URL: DATE: 07/14/2004 04:37:02 AM

draw the bugs, and they will come.

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: TH EMAIL: thomas@grendelkom.com IP: 195.230.42.194 URL: http://words.grendel.at DATE: 07/14/2004 08:56:59 AM

It's summer. (Well, at least according to the calendar) All life comes to a standstill in summer, so why not blogs too?

It'll be busy again come September.

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: mig EMAIL: mig@metamorphosism.com IP: 80.122.106.26 URL: DATE: 07/14/2004 10:48:41 AM

I've been blogging longer than Kottke, man. I've transcended worrying about statistics. I wasn't whining about that, just making an observation.

(upon reading that, it sounds testier than I mean to sound. You're right, it is summer, and there are better things to do. I haven't been blogging much, or reading as many as often, either.

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: novala EMAIL: sodazitron@gmx.net IP: 194.232.66.11 URL: http://sodazitron.blogger.de DATE: 07/14/2004 11:06:32 AM

Look at this for a change:
http://him.at/story.asp?nr=04071101

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: mig EMAIL: mig@metamorphosism.com IP: 80.122.106.26 URL: DATE: 07/14/2004 12:00:30 PM

Thanks, Novala. Our cats leave the hedgehogs (who appear to be preparing to move out of their houses into the big, wide world soon, appearing less and less for their 15:00 feedings) alone too. And run from our tortoise when it makes aggressive moves in their direction.

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: Jessica EMAIL: jessica@peacedividend.com IP: 66.117.128.123 URL: http://www.peacedividend.com DATE: 07/15/2004 00:38:16 AM

It seems like your site isn't pinging the usual weblog-ping-things. I have my notification hooha set at 12hrs, just so I can see that you updated at noon there even though that was 5am here, and day after day there is no pinging from you. So it's a nice surprise when I come look in anyway.

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: mig EMAIL: mig@metamorphosism.com IP: 80.122.106.26 URL: DATE: 07/15/2004 07:18:59 AM

It pings them, except sometimes the bot at the door turns the pings down because wrong shoes or something. Skinny leather ties? Please, dude.

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: tasha EMAIL: nomail@email.com IP: 198.144.198.158 URL: http://www.velouria.net DATE: 07/17/2004 06:21:47 AM

well, i just started reading you again this summer after a blog-hiatus. so that makes up for one office clerk on vacation.

----- -------- AUTHOR: Mig TITLE: Tip STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 2 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ PRIMARY CATEGORY: CATEGORY: DATE: 07/14/2004 07:42:57 AM ----- BODY:

Many people write to me, asking me, Mig, they ask, I'm invited to a diplomatic reception, how should I behave?

Alpha and I were at such a reception recently, and I paid special-close attention this time to be able to pass on useful, tested advice rather than theoretical blather.

----- EXTENDED BODY:
  1. Be yourself. It is usually easy to spot people at their first diplomatic reception, say a garden party, because they look nervous and uptight. Relax. This won't fool the diplomats, but it will fool the other neophytes. Be yourself, because we are most interesting when we are ourselves. Uptight, complex-ridden zombies conforming slavishly to some misconceived idea they have of proper comportment are a dime a dozen.
  2. Seriously, be yourself, more or less. Even if you should shock a diplomat, remember, they're trained to be gracious under all circumstances and not to appear shocked, so you'll never know, because it's their job to be charming and put you at ease. And in fact, there is little they have not already seen, so it's pretty hard to shock one.
  3. When greeting the hosting ambassador, the proper form of address is "Mr. Ambassador" or "Your Excellency," and not "Your Honor" or "Your Holiness", both of which I have heard.
  4. When waiting in the reception line to shake hands and say "Your Excellency bzzbzzbzbzz" under no circumstances is it a good idea to turn to your spouse and badmouth your employer, if there is any chance your employer could be invited to the function, say, for example, he's another ambassador, because then there could be a slight chance that he's standing directly behind you in line. (Sigh.)
  5. If you turn around and see your employer behind you in line, be really friendly and let him take cuts and act as if you were talking about someone else. If you're lucky, he never heard it. If you're unlucky, he's just acting as if he never heard it, because remember, he's a diplomat.
  6. Make friends with the waiters/waitresses darting about, because then they will bring their trays past you while the drinks and canapes are still fresh, and not flat, crusty or all breathed on and covered with fingerprints.
  7. Go around and talk to people until you find someone interesting and then stick with them. This is easier than it sounds, because the diplomats, remember, are trained to be charming and will totally take charge of keeping the conversation going if you are bad at this, and when they ditch you they'll be so nice about it you don't even notice; and the nervous first-timers will be so relieved someone is talking to them they'll clutch you like a drowning politician hanging onto a child in a lifejacket.
  8. Enjoy the food.
  9. Enjoy the beautiful garden and the beautiful sky.
  10. Enjoy your date.
----- EXCERPT: Many people write to me, asking me, Mig, they ask, I'm invited to a diplomatic reception, how should I behave? Alpha and I were at such a reception recently, and I paid special-close attention this time to be able to... ----- KEYWORDS: ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: j-a EMAIL: jeonga_kim@yahoo.co.uk IP: 202.71.195.230 URL: http://www.whatarewedoinghere.blogspot.com DATE: 07/14/2004 08:36:57 AM

your holiness?! that is funny. but you haven't told us the details of the food. what do they serve at these things? i imagine little canapes...

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: mig EMAIL: mig@metamorphosism.com IP: 80.122.106.26 URL: DATE: 07/14/2004 10:44:16 AM

i got so drunk i can't remember the food...

(i mean, your little miniature sandwich things, usually, interspersed with national delicacies; in this case, sushi, okonomiyaki, oden, yakitori (which ran out before i could get any) etc)

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: Bengt O. EMAIL: klipspringer@karlsson.at IP: 194.118.90.39 URL: http://www.karlsson.at/ordet.htm DATE: 07/14/2004 19:43:44 PM

If the host represents the Vatican State (or, as it is known in diplomatic circles, "The Holy See") I think "Your Holiness" is not out of place. But the Vatican does not give simple receptions but rather a "vin d'honneur." And, no, they don't serve holy wafers.

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: paul EMAIL: rant@industrialfreedom.net IP: 24.19.23.173 URL: DATE: 07/14/2004 23:12:34 PM

How drunk is it acceptable to be at such a reception? A few cocktails with no dinner drunk? Wedding reception drunk? Sporting event drunk?

Also, are diplomats trained to work with drunks or is that more of a taxi driver type skill?

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: mig EMAIL: mig@metamorphosism.com IP: 80.122.106.26 URL: DATE: 07/15/2004 07:13:37 AM

I honestly don't know, Bengt, about the "Your Holiness" title. The Holy See doesn't invite me to any of their parties; but I thought that would be reserved for the Pope.

Aha! http://www.infoplease.com/ipa/A0001618.html

Apparently, that term of address works on the following: The Pope, The Russian Orthodox Patriarch, Greek Orthodox Patriarch ("Your All Holiness"). Cardinals are "Your Eminence".

Paul, I suspect that's more a taxi driver/waitress skill, although the CIA probably has a course on it.

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: D EMAIL: dave@acerbia.com IP: 160.79.240.162 URL: http://www.acerbia.com DATE: 07/28/2004 11:55:40 AM

Because so many of their agents hit the sauce a little too hard?

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: anne EMAIL: tuckova@gmail.com IP: 213.210.177.152 URL: DATE: 08/05/2004 13:00:58 PM

"like a drowning politician hanging onto a child in a lifejacket"

so, useful advice and comedy gold all in one brief entry? you're so totally my hero.

----- -------- AUTHOR: Mig TITLE: Quiet season STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 2 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ PRIMARY CATEGORY: CATEGORY: DATE: 07/15/2004 07:35:16 AM ----- BODY:

Everybody's bitching about our cold, rainy summer here but I like it. I left my umbrella at home this morning and pocketed my sunglasses instead, not because I'm an optimist, but because doing that works well to jinx the weather into raining all day.

So far so good.

It's not a summer this year, it's some new season. A season of lounge music, which I only recently discovered, to my everlasting pleasure. Driving in the rain this morning, laid back music threading perfectly with the beat of the windshield wipers I thought about the deer who haven't revealed themselves in months, preferring the deep woods this time of year. Thought about them and there two does were, grazing in a field by the freeway, nut brown in the rain.

Then a Portishead number came on the car stereo to top it off. And then, in town, the garbage truck in front of me turned off and got out of my way.

I like this new season, but it needs a name.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: Everybody's bitching about our cold, rainy summer here but I like it. I left my umbrella at home this morning and pocketed my sunglasses instead, not because I'm an optimist, but because doing that works well to jinx the weather... ----- KEYWORDS: ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: novala EMAIL: sodazitron@gmx.net IP: 194.232.66.11 URL: http://sodazitron.blogger.de DATE: 07/15/2004 09:49:58 AM

It's called retniw

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: Suzette EMAIL: SuzetteTraveler@yahoo.com IP: 24.228.75.3 URL: http://weirdsmobile.com/suzette DATE: 07/15/2004 12:39:16 PM

Similar weather is happening in New Jersey as well. It's as near to perfect as one could wish for - long days of indirect lighting due to the cloud cover, lush vegetation that is not burnt and browned, lack of stifling humidity that takes the motivation out of your soul and the puff out of your hairdo. The moderate temperatures have even extended soup season far beyond the normal timeframe.

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: mig EMAIL: mig@metamorphosism.com IP: 80.122.106.26 URL: DATE: 07/15/2004 15:00:02 PM

And sweater season. However, my catalpa is once again drying out and losing its leaves despite all that, although it took it about a month longer this year.

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: chris EMAIL: chris@nospam.com IP: 63.69.92.170 URL: http://www.javablack.com DATE: 07/15/2004 16:07:01 PM

Good to hear an update from the field and that things seem harmonious out your way. Here in Texas, it feels like we got everybody's missing summers- 104 degrees F and humid today. I'm over this.

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: +Illicit Response+ EMAIL: illicitresponse@hotmail.com IP: 192.94.41.42 URL: DATE: 07/16/2004 03:59:38 AM

Migtober?

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: gordon EMAIL: gordondf@hotmail.com IP: 66.28.105.35 URL: DATE: 07/16/2004 15:22:53 PM

Funny, I was just needing a name for the eleventh day of this week...

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: j-a EMAIL: jeonga_kim@yahoo.co.uk IP: 202.71.195.230 URL: http://www.whatarewedoinghere.blogspot.com DATE: 07/19/2004 09:40:50 AM

perfect season.

----- -------- AUTHOR: Mig TITLE: Have the mass media picked this up yet? STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 2 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ PRIMARY CATEGORY: CATEGORY: DATE: 07/16/2004 07:26:15 AM ----- BODY:

Boys sodomized at Abu Ghraib.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: Boys sodomized at Abu Ghraib.... ----- KEYWORDS: ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: Big Time Patriot EMAIL: rant@bigtimepatriot.com IP: 24.19.23.173 URL: http://www.bigtimepatriot.com DATE: 07/16/2004 20:03:07 PM

The mass media hasn't really picked up on this. When the other tapes and photos of torture at Abu Ghirab came out there was talk that "other" and "worse" stuff was coming, but that was the last that was heard of it.

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: shasta EMAIL: smetanove@hotmail.com IP: 208.187.232.6 URL: http://www.mizdos.com/shasta DATE: 07/18/2004 20:39:47 PM

screw resignation. that asshole needs to be fired.

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: chris EMAIL: chris@nospam.com IP: 216.62.108.26 URL: http://www.javablack.com DATE: 07/19/2004 00:16:43 AM

THere are rumors that Gdub is at this very moment secretly moving to single-handedly curtail the First Amendment, thus squelching the majority of inflammatory rumormongering and other abstract interpretations of his administrative actions.

----- -------- AUTHOR: Mig TITLE: quickly STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 2 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ PRIMARY CATEGORY: CATEGORY: DATE: 07/19/2004 13:33:56 PM ----- BODY:

my sister is visiting with her family so doctor mig is out for the next coupla weeks.
if anything beats little kids with jetlag, i don't know what it is.

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: my sister is visiting with her family so doctor mig is out for the next coupla weeks. if anything beats little kids with jetlag, i don't know what it is.... ----- KEYWORDS: ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: paul EMAIL: rant@industrialfreedom.net IP: 24.19.23.173 URL: DATE: 07/19/2004 19:06:25 PM

"if anything beats little kids with jetlag, i don't know what it is." I think it's their parents that beat the little kids with jet lag (just kidding, just kidding, no actual beating of kids is condoned or suggested, but it's okay to imagine it from time to time... :-) )

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: cj EMAIL: cjcbanane@aol.com IP: 64.12.116.76 URL: http://journals.aol.com/cjcbanane/Test/ DATE: 07/20/2004 00:03:45 AM

A coupla weeks? I'm gonna have to sign up for some methadone in the meantime... but it'll never be like the real thing.

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: mig EMAIL: mig@metamorphosism.com IP: 195.170.73.135 URL: DATE: 07/20/2004 10:03:43 AM

my sense of humor is in much better shape now that we all got a full night's sleep last night

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: mig EMAIL: mig@metamorphosism.com IP: 195.170.73.135 URL: DATE: 07/20/2004 10:06:03 AM

i have a suggestion: find a tape of that episode of I Love Lucy where she's working on the conveyor belt in the cake factory, and try to imagine Jackie Gleason instead of Lucy...

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: fundelupa EMAIL: fundelupa@fundelupa.com IP: 69.72.27.234 URL: http://www.fundelupa.com DATE: 07/21/2004 05:35:11 AM

Mig,
check this out:
'This land is Made for You and Me'


This cartoon was created by brothers Gregg and Evan Spiridellis and have it on their web site jibjab.com.

The song is done to the tune of Woodie Guthrie's ballad "This land is your land."

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: j-a EMAIL: jeonga_kim@yahoo.co.uk IP: 202.71.195.230 URL: http://www.whatarewedoinghere.blogspot.com DATE: 07/21/2004 07:51:41 AM

god. paul said exactly the same thing as what i was thinking.

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: sue EMAIL: sue@myurl.com IP: 81.70.40.79 URL: DATE: 07/21/2004 10:32:44 AM

"if anything beats little kids with jetlag, i don't know what it is."

Please, don't say things like this. Not now...

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: megchem EMAIL: megchem@aol.com IP: 172.194.224.125 URL: DATE: 07/24/2004 23:54:25 PM

I'm beginning to think that it is VERY wrong to take away the crack cold turkey....come back!

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: cj EMAIL: cjcbanane@aol.com IP: 64.12.116.76 URL: http://journals.aol.com/cjcbanane/Test/ DATE: 07/25/2004 06:00:57 AM

I am hereby forming a support group, Mig Anonymous, for those of us who need to band together as we get through this difficult season. Seven step suggestions welcome.

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: mig EMAIL: mig@metamorphosism.com IP: 195.170.73.149 URL: DATE: 07/25/2004 23:03:45 PM

back in town now, be right with you as soon as i delete these 2000 comment spam messages some twat left in my archives...

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: chris EMAIL: chris@nospam.com IP: 216.62.108.26 URL: http://www.javablack.com DATE: 07/26/2004 14:03:00 PM

MT Blacklist seems to work pretty well for that. Plus, I turn off the comments for old posts every week or so- it only takes a minute.

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: mig EMAIL: mig@metamorphosism.com IP: 195.170.73.186 URL: DATE: 07/26/2004 19:32:42 PM

Yeah, I use MT Blacklist, but this person went to town on me while I was away. 3000 comments in a single day. Such typing.

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: mig EMAIL: mig@metamorphosism.com IP: 195.170.73.186 URL: DATE: 07/26/2004 19:40:46 PM

That is a good idea with the closing old comments, though. I'll do that from now on.

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: melly EMAIL: jezemelly@yahoo.com IP: 24.26.248.8 URL: http://ordinarymorning.net DATE: 07/28/2004 03:12:59 AM

miguel- Who are all of these people? Where have I been?

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: D EMAIL: dave@acerbia.com IP: 160.79.240.162 URL: http://www.acerbia.com DATE: 07/28/2004 11:52:16 AM

Despite my overwhelming desire to write something about a drunken Texan spamming your comments I just popped by to share this with you, which I think you'll appreciate:

http://www.davidbarringer.com/Bug_Kit/bug_kit.html

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: anne EMAIL: tuckova@gmail.com IP: 213.210.177.152 URL: DATE: 08/05/2004 12:08:54 PM

let me know if you ever want Real Live Tips for getting kids over jet lag. because i, apparently, am A MASTER. seriously. it's all in the wrists.

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: anne EMAIL: tuckova@gmail.com IP: 213.210.177.152 URL: DATE: 08/05/2004 13:04:36 PM

i just changed to wordpress from movable type because of the spam. i got 1000 spams in one day and i felt quite affronted, but now you say you got 3000 and i'm feel like, "hey, where's my spam love??"

----- -------- AUTHOR: Mig TITLE: Get your war on STATUS: Publish ALLOW COMMENTS: 2 CONVERT BREAKS: __default__ PRIMARY CATEGORY: CATEGORY: DATE: 07/31/2004 22:31:52 PM ----- BODY:

#38

----- EXTENDED BODY: ----- EXCERPT: #38... ----- KEYWORDS: -----